Ch Ch Ch Changes

November 22nd, the morning after I took the first pregnancy test, I woke up 6:00am. My husband had a couple of job interviews he had to go to that day in Manchester, NH and Billerica, MA. We had decided that if the second pregnancy test was also positive, we would go to the Planned Parenthood Center in Manchester just to take one more test and get it confirmed.

I took the second pregnancy test no more than 5 minutes after waking up. My eyes weren’t even fully open yet. However, they did work enough to see that this test was also positive. The line was light, but definitely darker than the day before. I seriously started to freak!

I wanted to be pregnant so badly, but was afraid to believe that it was finally happening. I had so many doubts running through my mind, that I couldn’t let myself get happy yet because I was so afraid that if I did… it would all go away.

Danny’s first interview went well and afterwards we drove straight to the PP Center. When we got there, a well dressed woman carrying a Prada handbag met us in the parking lot. She didn’t introduce herself, but I noticed she had anti-abortion and pro-life bumper stickers on her bran new van. She persuaded us to go to the Care Net Pregnancy Center right down the street because they didn’t encourage or perform abortions there. That sounded like a much better option to me, considering I am ferociously pro-life.

We agreed to follow her there. Unfortunately when we arrived and the woman parked her vehicle, she accidentally hit the van in front of her. I felt really bad that she had a fender bender because she was really trying to be nice to us and do something good by steering us away from the PP Center. I got the impression that this was what she did all day… I don’t think she had any kids though.

The Care Net Pregnancy Center didn’t open until 10:00am so we had to wait around for about 35 minutes, which seemed like the longest 35 minutes of my life. It seemed like I would never know for sure whether I was really pregnant or not. I’ll tell you right now, it definitely wasn’t under the circumstances that I had expected. All I kept saying to Danny was, “This is SO WEIRD! I can’t believe this is happening!”

They finally opened the front doors and let us in where we sat in a waiting room for an additional ten minutes. As soon as I got in there, I ran to the bathroom because I had to pee so bad I thought I was going to burst! I felt much better afterwards, but that didn’t get my nerves much. While I sat there impatiently, I filled out some paperwork and tried to stay calm. Each second that passed felt like a minute. Every minute that passed felt like an hour. I hadn’t been that stressed out in at least a couple years!

After an eternity and a half, they sent me into the bathroom with a cup.

Warning: TMI below!

I had a feeling that this wasn’t going to go well. It suddenly dawned on me when I went in there that I had just peed only 8 or 9 minutes earlier! Not only did I not have to pee, it was about 10:15am and this was by far, not my “morning sample”. I managed to squeeze several drops out, but I knew it wasn’t enough.


I left my sample in the bathroom, where they had instructed me to. Soon after that, they brought Danny and I into a elegantly decorated room where we sat down on a comfy sofa and spoke to a kind woman. She had us fill out a little more paperwork and she talked with us about how we would feel if the results were positive.

Several minutes later, a nurse came into the room with my test results. She showed us the two lines on the test and it looked exactly like the test I took earlier that morning. She said that it was positive, but that she had to call it a negative because she was supposed to read the official test result at the 3 minutes mark and the positive line didn’t show up on my test until the 4 minutes mark. Talk about frustration!

They said that for legal reasons, they had to tell me that it was negative, but that I was most likely pregnant and should take another test in a few days.

They also explained that it probably took a minute for the results to show up because my sample was diluted and not a “morning sample”. Another possibility was the Hcg levels could be low because I was so small and skinny and things could be progressing slowly. Still, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted them to tell me, “Congrats! You’re pregnant!”

My husband was still convinced I was pregnant though. As far as he was concerned, there were three positive pregnancy tests and that was enough to prove to him that I was knocked up!

Before leaving the Care Net Pregnancy Center, they gave me the telephone numbers and addresses for a couple other places I could go to get another free pregnancy test. Unfortunately, the next day was Thanksgiving, nobody was open on weekends, so I had to wait until Monday to get tested again! I had to wait 5 more days! I thought for sure, I was going to lose my mind…

We left Care Net and went to Danny’s second interview, which went extremely well as you know. (He got the job!) He came out grinning ear to ear and I knew things were only going to go up from there.

That night, we went to my brother’s house. It was the first time I had seen him in almost 3 years. We hadn’t spoken in over 1 year. But that’s a story for another time… In short, everything went much better than I expected.

Very suddenly everything seemed right in the world for the first time in a long time. All was as it should be, it seemed.

3 Replies to “Ch Ch Ch Changes”

  1. 🙁 your driving me bonkers with this ya know? leaving it with the it seemed thing is just totally wrong ya know that? seriously… your hurting me here.. the suspense is just not right… totally.

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