My friend Tammie over at Soul Gardening posted about her “Birth Plan” today. Coincidentally, it’s extremely similar to my plans. She has a way of saying things in a such a clear, direct way. I love it.
Check out her post:
I’m planning for a midwife attended birth, at a birthing center rather than a hospital. As long as I remain free of complications for the next 11 weeks, we should be all set for a natural, low-tech water birth.
The facility we’ve chosen is more like a cozy Bed and Breakfast than a medical office and Jeff and I will be basically left alone to labor on our own. I’m planning to hire a doula to be there with advice and encouragement, but for the most part, it’ll just be Jeff and I, with visits from the midwife and her assistant to monitor our progress and check on the baby every so often. We’re taking classes this month in hypnobirthing to help with relaxation and pain management.
To me, childbirth is not a disease or a condition to be treated or “dealt” with. It’s my body, doing what it was made to do. It will be the most challenging thing I have ever done I know, but I’m really excited for the prospect. [MORE…]
I love how no one argued with her or tried to talk her out of her decision in the comments.
It seems like when I tell friends and family what I’m doing, I must say it in such a way where they feel like the subject is still up for debate. And other times, it’s like as soon as I open my mouth people automatically assume that I haven’t thought my decision through completely and they need to “talk me out of it” because it’s not something they would do.
When I originally told my mom in law that I wanted a midwife, she spent 6 days in a row trying to talk me out of it. I nodded my head politely and didn’t bother disagreeing with what she was saying. (I tend to do that with most people… Still left over from dealing with my mom I think.) She has a way of making me feel like I don’t know anything and I should listen to her. And lots of times she is right, because she is older and wiser than me and I have a lot to learn from such a amazing person. I took her advice into consideration and contemplated taking the more standard route of giving birth in a hospital. But then I remembered that this is MY baby and MY birth. Dan and I should be able to do what we are comfortable with, not what other people think we should do.
Since we made that decision, I haven’t had the guts to actually sit down and talk with her and explain to her what we are doing. It’s not because I think she’ll yell or anything, it’s just that I don’t like talking to people about things I know they won’t agree with. Does that make me weak?
It seems like every time I tell certain people what I’m doing, they always tell me I’m wrong and I should do it a different way. Am I not assertive enough? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says “Argue with me! I love it!”??
How come I always seem to welcome that kind of attention? I’m looking for honest answers here because this is something that has really been bothering me…
(Sorry comments were turned off. I don’t know how that happened!)