Birth Plan

My friend Tammie over at Soul Gardening posted about her “Birth Plan” today. Coincidentally, it’s extremely similar to my plans. She has a way of saying things in a such a clear, direct way. I love it.

Check out her post:

I’m planning for a midwife attended birth, at a birthing center rather than a hospital. As long as I remain free of complications for the next 11 weeks, we should be all set for a natural, low-tech water birth.

The facility we’ve chosen is more like a cozy Bed and Breakfast than a medical office and Jeff and I will be basically left alone to labor on our own. I’m planning to hire a doula to be there with advice and encouragement, but for the most part, it’ll just be Jeff and I, with visits from the midwife and her assistant to monitor our progress and check on the baby every so often. We’re taking classes this month in hypnobirthing to help with relaxation and pain management.

To me, childbirth is not a disease or a condition to be treated or “dealt” with. It’s my body, doing what it was made to do. It will be the most challenging thing I have ever done I know, but I’m really excited for the prospect. [MORE…]

I love how no one argued with her or tried to talk her out of her decision in the comments.

It seems like when I tell friends and family what I’m doing, I must say it in such a way where they feel like the subject is still up for debate. And other times, it’s like as soon as I open my mouth people automatically assume that I haven’t thought my decision through completely and they need to “talk me out of it” because it’s not something they would do.

When I originally told my mom in law that I wanted a midwife, she spent 6 days in a row trying to talk me out of it. I nodded my head politely and didn’t bother disagreeing with what she was saying. (I tend to do that with most people… Still left over from dealing with my mom I think.) She has a way of making me feel like I don’t know anything and I should listen to her. And lots of times she is right, because she is older and wiser than me and I have a lot to learn from such a amazing person. I took her advice into consideration and contemplated taking the more standard route of giving birth in a hospital. But then I remembered that this is MY baby and MY birth. Dan and I should be able to do what we are comfortable with, not what other people think we should do.

Since we made that decision, I haven’t had the guts to actually sit down and talk with her and explain to her what we are doing. It’s not because I think she’ll yell or anything, it’s just that I don’t like talking to people about things I know they won’t agree with. Does that make me weak?

It seems like every time I tell certain people what I’m doing, they always tell me I’m wrong and I should do it a different way. Am I not assertive enough? Do I have a sign on my forehead that says “Argue with me! I love it!”??

How come I always seem to welcome that kind of attention? I’m looking for honest answers here because this is something that has really been bothering me…

(Sorry comments were turned off. I don’t know how that happened!)

4 Replies to “Birth Plan”

  1. Hmmm…

    I guess that my biggest concern would be aspiration pneumonia.

    What if the baby takes its first breath and it is underwater?

    How do you prevent that from happening?

    I almost drowned when I was young, and the thought of my baby drowning is terrifying to me.

    Another thought here…

    How do you check on your progress during labor? Do you have to get up out of the water all of the time? Or do you just get in the water for the last few minutes of labor?

    And how do you know how many minutes you have before the baby is born?

    I’ve had three children and each of my deliveries was a completely different experience.

    The water birthing thing never has interested me, so I have never bothered to look into it.

    Keep us posted!!


  2. Hey Tiger,

    I think it’s a wonderful that you have decided to come up with a birth plan. This is so important so that everyone involved in this birth is on the same page as far as your intentions and desires go. I went to A.L.A.C.E. (Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators) a couple of years ago, to become a doula so that I could help Julia with her delivery. If you need help finding a doula or if thiere’s anything that I can do to help you, let me know.

    Love, Mehera

  3. I don’t think the problem is so much that they think you don’t know what your talking about so much as they are scared for you. There are so many things that can go wrong in child birth. Some people who gear themselves up for the homebirth no interference delivery won’t even consider a c-section even when that is the only thing that will save lives… it’s just concern for the endless list of possible out comes to any situation let alone one this life altering. That and this is not options that alot of people dealt with during there time at givnig birth..this is not stuff that has a long track record of success, im not saying bad stuff about your choices just listing possible reasons others might have conerns please please know that. Then there is the level of pain you will be dealing with… a friend of mine was all set to go through the natural child birth much like you.. she wasn’t able to and ended up asking for pain meds after 30 hours of labor.. she felt a failure. but she wasn’t and nothing we said could convince her of this.

    The only things i believe are important are that you are comfortable with your choices and that if things don’t go like you plan you are comfortable enough with your support sysetem that it dosn’t cause you alot of grief, ya know? No matter how it happens the only real important aspect of the entire thing is that all of you make it through the birth safe and sound. If you have any information to share of the details of your birth and talk about all the plan B aspects if something should go wrong I bet your family will be more understanding of your decison. I hope this didn’t come off in the wrong way. Take care ok best of wishes and hugs

  4. I can’t remember if I already asked this, but what if there was a complication that required immediate attention? Something split second that wouldn’t allow for you you be transported to the hospital. Not all complications allow for time. Some things have to be handled in the moment to save lives.

    How would they handle that?

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