Banana’s & Comments

Week 21

Baby’s Length: 7.5 in.

Baby’s Weight: 12 oz.

Baby’s Size: Banana

Another week has passed and I find myself 21 weeks along in my pregnancy. Seems like the time is flying by, although everyone told me it would seem like I was pregnant forever. To me, it seems like just yesterday I had a waist and normal sized thighs…

If you haven’t already noticed, one of my characteristics or “personality traits” if you will, is my inability to take unsought advice. I realize that this probably doesn’t make much sense, considering I write several blogs, but try to understand. It has taken me the last 5 years of blogging to realize that having a public blog and allowing comments, opens me up to other people’s scrutiny, judgments, opinions, and advice.

This makes it very difficult for me to post. I want the comments, but then I put up a brick wall as soon as I sense someone is trying to share their opinion or advice with me. Having anyone try to tell me to “do things their way” is a subconscious reminder of where I’ve been all of my life. All the little red flags go up and I immediately become defensive and shut down.

Please don’t take this personally, but I need to have the comments turned off on my blog for a while until I can pull myself back together. The last couple months of posts I have made, have resulted in comments with (I’m sure) well-meant advice from people who only have the best intentions. However, it’s been driving me up a wall. Until I can figure out how to deal with it, I need to isolate myself from the irritation.

I initially considered not blogging anymore, but I need the freedom to write what I’m thinking and feeling. I like having my thoughts recorded somewhere so I can go back and look at it later. I started keeping a journal in 1999 and wrote in it every single day for almost 6 years. I started blogging in 2002 and slowly gave up the hand written journals in favor of the speed of typing. When I first started blogging, no one ever came to my blog, nor did I get any comments, so I never learned “blogging etiquette”. It’s taken me a long time to realize that when I say something like, “I wonder if I’ll be a good mother.” (that is only a mere pondering to me) that I am inviting a “Oh don’t worry. You’ll make an excellent mother!” response somewhere in the comment area.

I’m not saying that I don’t like compliments and encouraging reassurances, because I do. I think I just get frustrated when it’s not what I’m looking for from the post… I get mad that people get “sidetracked” on my ponderings instead of discussing the actual topic I was blogging about. Maybe I haven’t fully gotten a hold of what blogging is all about. They really should have some kind of a course or book on how to blog…

I find myself very jealous of great bloggers like Motherhood Uncensored, The Sarcastic Journalist, Mama Tulip, and Novelle 360 (just to name a few). I read their fantastic posts and all the lovely comments that their posts generate and wonder why I can’t blog like that. The way they write is so easy to understand and so very pleasant to read. They are straight-forward and unapologetic about what they’re thinking, and it seems that people rarely disagree with them. How do they do it?

Maybe some people are just born to be great bloggers and others, like myself, should keep their thoughts to themselves.

Regardless, I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut OR keep my thoughts to myself. And so I blog. But until I figure out what I’m doing wrong and how to fix it, and learn how to accept unsought advice, I need to turn the comments off.

I hope having the comments turned off won’t stop people from visiting the blog, because I will still be posting.