Don’t Feel Like Myself Anymore…

Posted on May 09, 2009

I’ve been so lost in being a mother and a wife for so long, I think I’ve forgotten who i am. I don’t do anything I used to like doing, I don’t get to go anywhere, I feel like a trapped rat half the time…

I love being a mom, but the hubs is gone so much, I feel like a single mom sometimes… I have to do everything and I never get a break. Not that anyone should have to relieve me of my duties… it’s just that I feel like no body cares about me anymore.

I just don’t feel like myself. I can’t concentrate, I’m unorganized, I have a million things to do and nothing ever gets done… I have to-do lists everywhere and I can’t think long enough to get anything done.

Trying to run Fashionable Media AND be a good parent is really taking a toll on me… I need more time to get things done on the computer, yet I want to spend more time with daughter teaching her things, playing with her, and just helping her grow. There aren’t enough hours in the day!

I used to dance, sing, play guitar, write poetry, exercise, do yoga everyday, cook gourmet meals, be creative, paint, draw, write stories, keep a journal, listen to music… I could go on and on… and I don’t get to do anything I enjoy anymore. I just don’t know what to do.

I wish I could have just 1 hour to myself everyday… but I don’t. I love my daughter so much and I want to be with her, but 24 hours a day and 7 days a week with no reprieve is starting to wear me down and affect my brain…

I wish my husband would help me, but he doesn’t… I don’t know who we are anymore. Some days are good, some days are bad, but none of them are fulfilling anymore. I keep slapping myself and telling myself to just keep it together and keep on trucking, but I don’t know how much longer I can carry myself through life like this…

Filed under: Frustration , Love & Marriage , Personal Thoughts





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