TLC Baby Story Sucks

I get so infuriated watching shows on TLC like Baby Story and seeing stupid, ignorant doctors talk perfectly healthy women into getting pitocin and an epidural, when they went in there planning on a natural drug-free birth. Then they lay there for HOURS with no idea what’s going on down there and no way to know when to push. Just so frustrating! So unnatural and ridiculous!

I watched Birth As We Know It yesterday and got to see some amazing, strong women give birth naturally and beautifully. It’s so amazingly frustrating to then turn on TLC and see someone who is perfectly healthy and intending on going drug-free end up getting talked into doing what’s convenient for the doctor… Makes me want to scream.

Condom Slushies Cold Pack for Afterbirth Swelling

How to Make Condom Slushies

1. Pour approximately 1.25 inches of rubbing alcohol into a condom, and then fill rest of the way with tap water leaving room to tie into a knot at the end.

2. Gently roll another condom onto the liquid filled condom and tie into a knot.

3. Make at least 4 of these Condom Slushies and place in freezer for 2 hours, overnight is even better. I always put into a toilet paper roll to prevent puncture.

4. Remove one Condom Slushie from freezer, wrap in wash cloth and place on vulva I also use these for hemorrhoid after birth

5. You will now experience bliss


Other Helpful Hints:

RAW Honey is also great to have on hand for small tears and abrasions.

Comfrey tea bags also good for tears, abrasions, and hemorrhoids.

Rubbing extra virgin olive oil on the babies bum after birth makes it easier to clean up sticky meconium.

My Thoughts On Circumcision and Genital Mutilation

I’m just entering my third trimester of pregnancy and expecting a baby boy in late August. Since finding out we’re having a boy, I’ve done a lot of research about circumcision and came to the conclusion that there is no way I can do that to my child, despite the small benefits that people seem to claim there are.

As for doing it for sanitary reasons, I think that’s the most absurd excuse. From my research, it really isn’t any more hygienic to have a boy circumcised. In fact, the foreskin is designed to protect the head of the penis from germs. Why else would God have put it there? And if a boy is taught proper cleaning habits, he most likely will not have a problem.

In this day and age, we wouldn’t cut off a woman’s labia in the name of trying to help prevent yeast infections. That would be insane. It’s the same kind of thing… Women have to clean themselves properly in order to not only prevent things like yeast infections and overall odor but we have to take special care to clean “down there” during our periods as well. We face many challenges with our southern regions, but we don’t alter them or cut a portion off to make it “easier” to take care of. That would be… well, really, really dumb.

One thing I have been researching pretty heavily is the “sanitary” reasons. I can understand perhaps doing it back in the days of the Jesus for sanitary reasons and whatnot, but we live in a much different world. Unless a guy is a pig and doesn’t shower or care enough to keep himself clean, or stick his thing where it doesn’t belong, infection shouldn’t be an issue.

I have a friend who is rabidly anti-circumcision… I also have friends who are very pro-circumcision, so I’ve gotten the dish from both sides. My husband and I also have a friend that got circumcised as an adult because his foreskin was unable to retract properly and he was told that getting circumcised would fix the problem. Unfortunately, it didn’t. He now has more problems after being circumcised because there are still dissolving stitches stuck under the skin that never dissolved and the skin is too tight for him to get a full erection, making sex quite uncomfortable. Uncommon maybe, but still alarming.

The thing that bothers me the most is that I fully believe that God designed out bodies a certain way for a certain reason. Circumcision is like telling God his design was flawed and we need to fix it. How rude! We might as well go and get plastic cosmetic surgery while we’re at it…

And I don’t agree with the argument that God is the one that told the Jews to start circumcising. First of all, God told us to do a lot of things in the Old Testament that were later reversed in the New Testament as part of the entire reason why Jesus died on the cross. We were redeemed from having to follow a large set of rules because of that.

The second point is that circumcision back then is completely different than it is now. They didn’t remove the entire foreskin and leave the poor baby boy’s penis bleeding, naked and exposed. That would have been deadly back in a time where clean water, sanitation and medical care was scarce.

The American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Family Physicians have both said that yes, there are some very small benefits but they are not outweighed by the risks involved in this day and age. Safe sex practices and good hygiene are just as effective.

Health insurance won’t even cover circumcision in at least 16 states now and some private insurance companies refuse to cover it now as well because it’s considered an “elective procedure” at this point.

Apparently, between the 1920’s and 1980’s it was extremely popular and the “normal” thing to do. Studies have now found that it is not only not medically necessary but they are finding more and more bad things are happening as a result of standard circumcision. Erectile Dysfunction being one of them…

Circumcision is an American anomaly. Worldwide, 20 out of every 1,000 infants are circumcised and 18 of those are in the United States alone. Ironically, you can skip making the circumcision decision altogether—which is what the other 980 parents do—and your child will be happy and healthy. The US circumcision rate is currently 56% and dropping every year as awareness about the subject rises.

I always thought it was a standard thing to do, required, necessary, etc until I actually decided to research the subject and actually find out what it was all about. Once I started looking at all the information, including lots of medical studies about it, etc, I’m a little relieved that I bothered to look up information about it instead of just assuming it was necessary and going ahead and doing it uninformed. Thank God for Google!! lol I’ve spent days reading and reading and discussing the subject.

And I’ll tell ya, after watching a few videos of the procedure being done on a newborn, I would never want anyone doing that to my poor little baby… Absolutely no way.


Yaz Doesnn’t WORK.

When I decided I was all done having kids, God laughed.

Long story short, Yaz does NOT work. I repeat, Yaz birth control pills DO NOT WORK.

Bold statement, right? Heh… well I can prove it.

Proof that the pill is less than 99% effective when taken as directed.

The Birth Of My Daughter

July 25th

I woke up Wednesday morning and felt like crap. I was just sooo done with being pregnant. I was willing to do just about anything to get the baby out of me. I just didn’t want to be pregnant for another minute.

The 26th of July was my Nana’s birthday. I thought that would be a good day to have the baby. I prayed and hoped she could fo something from Heaven to help me along.

In desperation, I started looking up how to induce labor with Castor Oil. I found several good links. I also went onto the Baby Gaga Forum to see if Castor Oil had worked for others.

I ultimately decided to try it, but was not looking forward to it. I emailed my midwife about it and asked her if it was okay. Fortunately she wrote back quickly and told me that she had another idea and to come into the office tomorrow. I was slightly disappointed because I knew this meant no baby on Nana’s birthday.

July 26th

I woke up feeling like crap again, even though I got almost 13 hours of sleep. I just didn’t want to wake up pregnant one more day! It was really starting to wear on me…

My midwife (Adrian) was really busy, but thankfully squeezed me in at 3:30 that afternoon. She had Natanya (the assistant midwife) strip my membranes. It hurt even less than the time before when the other midwife (Tracy) did it. Plus she took a lot longer, making sure to be really thorough.

Then Adrian mixed some fresh Angelica into my Black & Blue Cohosh tincture and instructed me to take 2 dropper fulls every 30 minutes for 6 hours, stop and eat some spicy Mexican food on the way home and then have sex later on in the evening. Quite the chore chart, eh?

Well, I did everything she said. I started taking that tincture before I even left the office, making my first dose at 4:00pm.

On the way home, my husband and I stopped at Wal Mart to pick up a few things. Afterwards, around 6:00pm we stopped at Margaritas and ate. I had a Chili Relleno with fresh chopped Jalapeños on top (my request). I also had some of their super hot Habanero “Tough Guy” sauce and boy, was that shit HOT! I mixed it in with my rice and downed it all. I had a few irregular contractions during dinner, but nothing big.

I kept taking my tincture every 30 minutes until 10:00pm when I finished the bottle. I was still having some irregular contractions that were getting kinda uncomfortable. Nothing out of the ordinary though. At that point I decided maybe it was time to try some sex…

An hour later, the contractions were a little more uncomfortable, but still very irregular and I wasn’t too concerned. I decided to go to bed… I had Dan check my cervix and make sure that the contractions weren’t accomplishing anything. They weren’t. So I went to bed.

July 27th

I suddenly woke up at 3:00am with contractions that felt like extreme menstrual cramps. I didn’t think much of it until I got up and started walking to the bathroom and had another one that made me stop and lean on the fridge. It lasted for about a minute. I resumed walking to the bathroom and right after I got off the toilet, I had another contraction that made me get down on my hands and knees. I moaned loudly as the pain that radiated through my hips was indescribable.

My husband heard me from bed and woke up to see if I was okay. While I was telling him that I thought I was ok, I had another contraction. This one hurt even more than the last one.

“I think you should call Adrian (the midwife)” he said to me.

I didn’t want to wake her up at 3:30am for a false alarm, so I thought he should check my cervix again. Well, I’ll never forget the look on his face! “Call Adrian now! You’re in labor!” he told me. “How do you know?” I asked. “Well you are dilated A LOT. I don’t even know how much… Maybe 6 cm?” he said. “Oh God!” I said and grabbed the phone.

Adrian told me to meet her at the birth center at 5:30am. It was about 4:15am at that point. So we started getting ready and I called my mom to tell her this was finally it. My contractions were about 3 minutes apart already.

We left several minutes later. To my surprise, Dan was nervous. I don’t think I had ever seen him nervous before. He just… doesn’t get nervous about anything. He always the one who’s got it together. Me on the other hand… well, I’m usually the nervous wreck. For some reason, we had switched places for this.

We’re driving to the birth center and I’m going, “You don’t have to drive fast. I’m okaaayy…. AHH…” *moaning and heavy breathing through a contraction* “… I’m okay. Let’s stop at Dunkin Donuts and get coffee!” lol You should have seen the look of confusion on that poor man’s face. He reluctantly stopped and we got coffee though.

We got to the birth center at exactly 5:30am. Dan carried in the bags and I walked in smiling with my coffee. That was short lived as I quickly got another contraction. I was okay standing up though.

Natanya brought me into the purple birthing room equipped with a big bed and birthing tub. She checked my cervix and confirmed that I was 6cm dilated. She complimented Dan on his cervix checking skills and he beamed.

I didn’t settle in much because I thought that I would be there for a while. The contractions were getting worse though… Dan became really supportive when he saw how much pain I appeared to be in. I don’t think he was prepared to see me like that and it freaked him out a bit.

I sat on the birthing ball for about half an hour and tried to breath through my contractions. It was getting harder and harder though. By 6:30am I couldn’t hold a conversation anymore. The contractions were right on top of each other. I decided that it was time to get into the water at that point. I still had my underwear and a sports bra on. Yes, I was modest even in labor!

I could not believe the pain in my hips though and kept wondering why no one warned me about that. If I could have completely removed the hip pain I was feeling, it would have felt just like the painful menstrual cramps I usually experienced with my periods each month. Pretty tolerable in my opinion. But the hip pain made it almost unbearable.

Each contraction felt like it was 50% stronger than the last one. I just couldn’t believe how quickly everything was escalating. I still thought I had a long time to go though… It seemed like it had to hurt a lot worse than it did.

The last 5 contractions I had right before giving birth, were just horrendous. I was relatively quiet through labor. No screaming or yelling. Just a little bit of moaning and I remember saying “I can’t do this,” and “No, no, no.” It was about 6:50am by then.

All of a sudden, I had a huge contraction and I couldn’t help but yell about it. Dan kept telling me I could do it and to breath. I couldn’t have done it without him. As the contraction ended, I suddenly felt something “wash over me”. I don’t know how else to explain it.

As the next contraction came, I knew it was different. I didn’t feel the hip pain and I suddenly wanted to push. And so I did. Suddenly Dan was telling me to take off my underwear quick. Apparently my water hadn’t broken yet and as I was bearing down, I was pushing the fore waters out. With the next contraction, I pushed and Natanya reached in and broke my water for me. I didn’t know it at the time, but I felt a huge relief of pressure when she did. Apparently my amniotic sack was so thick, she couldn’t break it with her fingers. She had to cut it open!

The next contraction came and I pushed again, long and hard and I felt her head come all the way down the birth canal and pop out! I sat there, for what felt like forever, just breathing. They told me to reach down and feel her head. That was so neat!! I asked what color hair she had and they told me it was brown. I just held her head and smiled until I got another contraction. I pulled my hand out of the water and grabbed Dan’s arm to push again. This time, I pushed her out all the way and lifted her up out of the water and onto my chest. I did it! It was 7:09am and I had finally delivered my little girl.

Reportedly the first thing I said was, “She came out!” I must have thought she would be in there forever. I felt so proud of myself. Everything went perfectly. She was beautiful and perfect.

And who knew I could dilate from 6cm to 10cm in less than 2 hours? I’m like a dilating champion or something!

Delivering the placenta was interesting. It was huge!! (Usually a placenta weighs about 6 ounces. Mine was over a pound!) Then Dan cut the umbilical chord after it stopped pulsing.

Everything went so perfectly it was just amazing. I wouldn’t change anything about the whole experience. Not even the pain, because really, it hurt a lot less than I thought it would. I just feel so blessed!! Praise the Lord for this little miracle!!